Let's listen into a conversation they didn’t know was being recorded:
“Hey stupid! Hey you stupid Australian car driver, can't you hear me?
“Ah, there you are, just as well we have found you. We thought you had wandered off again, and slipped back into that dreadful habit of thinking for yourself while behind a steering wheel. You really must learn to do only what we tell you. To obey every instruction we give you blindly and without the slightest deviation from our orders.
“Don’t ever contemplate making your own decisions again. Because, if you don’t do what we say you will die a horrible death in a car.
“We saw you salivating over that BMW Z4 TV ad, you fool. The one shot in a huge warehouse with a white floor, lots of bright floodlights, and vivid coloured paint being printed onto the floor by the car. It looked exactly like the sort of scene you come across every time you drive a car on the road.
“They made the BMW's wheels spin and pretended they were creating art, when everyone knows what BMW was really trying to do was encourage anti-social behaviour. Even, heaven forbid, trying to make drivers think for themselves when behind the wheel of a car – and you know we just hate that.
“We have looked at that TV commercial many times and, trust us, the display in that warehouse with the white floor and brightly coloured paint looks so much like a real traffic situation that foolish drivers like you are certain to try it for yourself.
“Believe me, there is no way that you are smart enough to work out the commercial is fantasy, not reality. We could see in your eyes as they gazed fixedly at the TV ad that you were wishing you too could go out there and spin your car’s wheels manically.
“And die. Because spinning wheels can mean that cars will go over the speed limit (Shock Horror!) and automatically spear out of control and crash the moment they do so.
“We have told you many times that Speed Kills, that Every K Over is a Killer. But you refuse to believe us. Instead, you trust respected researchers and experienced drivers who tell you that only a tiny number of crashes are caused by speed. This behaviour is not simply good enough and we will be watching you closely.
Keep on obeying,
Your government appointed Nannies.”
*******
I wrote the above with my teeth gritted, while shaking my head at the stupidity that's slowly destroying freedom of thought in Australian society.
In case you hadn’t seen the aforementioned TV commercial, it displays the new BMW Z4 roadster making artistic shapes on a huge white ‘canvas’ using different coloured paints on its tyres.
The German marque has a long history of art in cars, but usually it's the cars that are painted, by famous artists – legendary figures like Andy Warhol, and our own Ken Done and Michael Jagamara Nelson. This is the first time a car has actually done the painting itself!
Millions of Australian TV viewers have seen the ad. Two people - that's right, just two - have complained and it has been declared illegal and banned.
The TV commercial is being shown in BMW's major markets around the world, including all of Europe, UK, USA, Asia and South America. Nowhere else has it been banned.
If news of what has just happened in Australia gets out to the rest of the world, and I fear it will, we are going to become a laughing stock. People overseas will wonder how we ever allowed this ridiculous situation to arise. And ask why we aren’t doing anything to stop ever-encroaching government control over our thoughts and movements.
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